You Really, Really Love Your Woman? Excellent!...Now Make Her Cry

By Peter Wesson

You heard me. If you haven't made your girlfriend, fiancee, or wife shed tears recently, then you need to start. Now.

If you're not married to them yet, then perhaps you shouldn't. That is, if you find that they never show emotion over something you say or do. Perhaps you are with the wrong woman. Maybe she doesn't have the affect on you that would inspire such things in you. Maybe not, maybe they are one of the rare women that don't cry. However, I doubt it.

However, if it's not her, then it's you. What am I talking about? Am I saying being mean to her? What am I talking about, making her cry? Am I some sort of cruel sadist that revels in the lamentations of women?

I would hope that I'm obviously not. I'm talking about that you need to touch her. No, I don't mean that! I'm talking about touching her emotions. I'm talking about making sure she feels special. I mean to help her feel loved. I mean to help her know that she is cherished.

Before I go any further, let me say, you only do this because she truly is loved and cherished. That is, that you love her and cherish her.  This is about her, not you. Giving in order to get is not truly giving. This is about giving her something. It's about what you make her feel, not what you want in return. If that's not what you have in mind, then perhaps this article isn't for a selfish little boy like yourself.

Also, I don't think it's a sexist thing to say that women often cry when they have been deeply affected by something. Even when they are really happy. When things hit them so deep within themselves that they overflow with emotion. Some would not like to hear me say that. However, I've known too many women that do this to say that it isn't often the case.

Let's face it, men do it, too, although for different reasons. The end of Return of the Jedi, when Vader is redeemed to his son, man, that's a tear-jerker! Well, it least it was to me. Perhaps when Mickey died in Rocky III? There you go. Is that a manly enough reference for you?

Seriously, no more joking, you must touch them within their heart. You must help make them feel the love that you have for them. Once again, I'm not talking the physical stuff here. Any idiot can learn that. I'm talking about the emotional touching. I'm talking about giving her the feeling that she is loved. I'm talking about making her know in her soul that you appreciate her.  

Am I saying learn lines that will manipulate their emotions? No, not in the least. You completely misunderstand me if that's what you think. Once again, this isn't about selfishness. This isn't about control or power. This is about love. Real, unadulterated love.  Love that you are going to put into words and tell, send, or write those words to or for her.

As men, we are supposed to protect their hearts, but how about providing for their hearts?  How about filling that emptiness that too many women have faced in a society in which marriages are thrown away.  Yes, there are women these days that are responsible for that.  However, with garbage ideas like pick-up culture, there are definitely men out there that use women for their bodies and could care less about their hearts.

To do this, you must be a man with man-sized feelings for a lady. That you are man enough to face the fact that you are deeply in love with a woman and that you desire to tell her of this love. That your thoughts are of her and that these thoughts are so strong that to keep them inside is unthinkable to you.

What I mean is that you must learn to dig deep. To share what you feel for them with them. Not because you want to get them in bed (if you ain't married to her, then my belief is this would be out of the question, anyhow). Rather, because you want them to feel what you feel. You want them to know, completely and totally that they are loved. You want them to feel that, not because you want something from them, but because you care deeply for them and you want them to understand that feeling. That they make you feel so wonderful that you want them to have even just a bit of how wonderful they make you feel.

Perhaps you might say, but, I don't know how to do that. Well, don't you? Take a moment every day and write down how you feel for her. Really let go and let those thoughts flow. Is it cheesy? Then maybe that's the exact thing you need to say to her! Does it come across as a bit too mushy or lovey-dovey to please your uber-masculine aesthetic? Then, my friend, that's probably the very thing you need to tell her. You're dealing with a woman. Yes, she needs you to be strong and she needs you to be that manly man. She needs your stoicism and toughness. However, she also needs tenderness. She needs to feel appreciated. She needs to feel loved.  Today, in the day of texting, Facebook Messenger, or, check out this crazy idea, paper and pen, you can't figure out some way to begin to show her your thoughts?

If you have ever done something so sweet and kind (yes, those are terms that should be associated with you from time to time) that somebody you cared for was brought to tears, you'll know why this is something you needed to do. You'll get addicted to it. You'll understand how you made your woman feel. If you are doing this for the right reasons, how you touched her will touch your heart as well. Being made happy by others is great. But making others happy, truly and deeply happy? If you're a giver, this will bring you no end of joy.  In turn, you will not want their joy to end, either.  You will want to see that smile and it will bring a smile to you.  When you see the look in her eyes, that being overcome by joy, you won't ever want to stop.  Nor will she want you to do so.

Imagine that, if you brought a cycle of growing love to a relationship? That you thought within yourself everyday, “How can I show her I love her? How can I help her to understand how much I care for her?” How can I help author a love story for our lives? It'll be written by more than just tender words, but what love story doesn't also have those words? Okay, maybe the beginning of the movie “Up!” But anyhow... Yes, men, you might not like love stories so much, but you need to make one with your relationship.

Men, man up and do it. Open up your heart. Be vulnerable with her. Tell her in unmistakable terms how you feel. Make her cry. Obviously, not tears of sorrow or pain. A real man would recoil at the very idea. Rather, because you love her as much and more so than your own life. That you would die for her but you will gladly live for her as well. That you love her and that everyday will be spent finding new ways and words to show her that very fact.

Maybe it won't be tears. Maybe it'll be the biggest smile you've ever seen. Maybe it'll be both. But go for it. Tell her.

Man up. 

Do it. 

Now.